What If
by Mia June
Summary: This was the beginning of my Bethyl story, however I don't know if I will ever carry on writing it, for now it's an alternative version of Coda where Beth survives plus some insight on Beth's emotions during the Grady arc. It's my first fanfiction and I'm not a native speaker. I do not own The Walking Dead, the characters within or the original dialog from the episode Coda


Beth didn't know how much time had passed since she was brought to the Grady Memorial. Two weeks? A month? She used to write everything down in her diary and accurately assign a date to every entry. But now everything appeared pointless and she lost her diary anyway. It felt like a whole eternity since she and Daryl were separated. She winded up alone among strangers and her only friend Noah was gone too. The only thought which helped her to carry on, was the fact, that Noah would be safe and maybe had arrived in his hometown by now. Of course, many bad things could have happened to him on his way home, but Beth wanted to stay optimistic. It was the only thing for her to hold on to. She tried to avoid thinking of people she lost on her way and probably would never see again. It was just too painful and there was no one who could comfort her. Daddy, Maggie, Rick. Her heart ached by the thought of them. And Daryl... she got used so quickly to be near him and in the end she thought, they would be alright, even if they would never see their family again. They weren't alone, at least they had each other. He was always there, protecting her, teaching her how to survive, but now he was gone just like the others. He would probably try to track her, but she was almost certain he would never find her here in Atlanta.  
She was trapped here.  
Forever.

Every day was like the day before. She woke up and did all the work Dawn assigned her. Mostly it was cleaning up, since they didn't get any new patients. At home and even at the prison she didn't mind doing things like cleaning up, cooking and washing clothes, it felt relaxing for her, but here she felt like a slave, everybody was using her and she couldn't do anything about it. Dawn and her officers were treating others even worse and she was angry that she couldn't do anything for them either. She was also still mad at Dr. Edwards for making her giving the man, who was a doctor, the wrong drugs, so that the man died and Dr. Edwards could stay the only doctor at Grady's. Beth even considered killing him, knowing that this place would break down without him and Dawn would be forced to face the reality out there. Probably she would kill Beth for it, but Beth thought it wouldn't make such a difference to die or to be a slave for her lifetime. Maybe dying was even better.

The idea of killing Edwards became more and more concrete in her head. She was able to steal a pair of scissors and she hid them under her mattress, waiting for the right moment to kill him with them. She never thought that she would be capable of killing someone in cold blood. It always felt wrong, even to hurt somebody, but she had to save others from sharing her fate. Nobody deserved to be a slave, even if they lived in an apocalyptic world now. This place had to go down one way or the other.

Everything changed as a women was brought in. She was injured badly and Beth recognized her immediately. It was Carol. Beth tried to hide her surprise, but she was certain, Dawn must have noticed that she recognized her. The more surprised she was, when Dawn helped her to save Carol's life. Furthermore she protected her from O'Donnell and tried to make Beth believe she was a good person with good intentions. But Beth knew that it wasn't true and she was tired of her bullshit. Beth was glad, she didn't kill Dr. Edwards after all, because without him she wouldn't have been able to save Carol. How could she even think she should kill him? This place was driving her crazy.

Spending the night in Carol's room she thought about her family. Now she was certain they found her and that they were coming for her. Soon she would leave this nasty place behind. Maybe they could safe all the innocent people too.

She returned to her room the next morning, feeling dizzy from the sleepless night and she span around when Dawn rushed into her room, right behind her, with the usual cold expression on her face. She threw Beth's old clothes on her bed, telling her, that she was leaving immediately. Beth knew what that meant and couldn't hide a faint smile. Dawn noticed it and left the room hastily without saying anything else. Beth quickly dressed and eavesdropped from behind the door. She caught some parts of a discussion Dawn had with one of her officers, saying that "Ms. Greene is leaving" and "We need to be prepared when they come". THEY. So they finally came for her. Her family came for her. She went back to her bed, sat on it and waited. Not that she wasn't happy that they finally found her. It was unbelievable… But still, there was a bad feeling in her gut and she couldn't shake it. She couldn't help but thinking that Dawn wouldn't let her go that easily and that maybe somebody would get hurt. That's why Beth put the scissors, she had hidden under her mattress into her cast. And it was just in time, because the next moment Dawn came in.

"It's time," she told Beth coldly.

Beth stood up, trying to look confident and walked past Dawn into the hallway.

The first person she caught sight of was Daryl. He didn't change at all since they were separated. He stood there and seemed to be confident and determined as always. He was looking at her and she was so happy to see him again, so she tried to smile. But instead she felt hot tears beginning to form and she tried hard to hold them back. Daryl wasn't alone, there were Rick, Sasha and Tyreese… All of them came to save her. A warm feeling surrounded her heart. This feeling was mixed with anxiety though, because she saw Noah standing in the background. Why was he there? She squeezed Carols hand who was sitting in a wheelchair in front of her, but it didn't comfort her racing heart. Then everything went fast, first they exchanged Carol for one of the officers, after that it was Beth's turn. When she was allowed to join her family again she felt the weakness in her knees while walking towards them. Rick hugged her and Daryl touched her shoulder slightly as he gently shoved her in the middle of them. She barely noticed the touch, all what she wanted, was to leave the hospital immediately. Before something bad could happen, before Dawn…

"Now I just need, Noah." Dawn's voice gave Beth goosebumps. Here it was, the bad thing she expected.

"That wasn't part of the deal," sad Rick in a firm voice.

"Noah was my ward. Beth took his place and I'm losing her, so I need him back."

"Ma'am, please, it's not…" Even Dawn's officers tried to convince her but she was stubborn as always.

"Shepherd! My officers put their lives on the line to find him. One of them died."

"No, he ain't staying." Beth heard the impatience in Daryl's voice. God, please make all of this stop!

But Dawn wouldn't stop.

"He's one of mine," she said.

"You have no claim on him. The boy wants to go home, so you have no claim on him." Rick tried to bring Dawn to reason with his calm voice. But that was all in vain and Beth knew it. Dawn wouldn't show any compassion.

"Well, then we don't have a deal," Dawn stated dryly.

"The deal is done." Rick was growing impatient too and the general mood was getting heated.

Noah sensed it and Beth heard him saying "It's okay." in his soft voice.

"No," was everything Beth could say.

"No. I got to do it," Noah answered. He gave Beth a smile

"It's not okay," Beth said. She was close to tears now. This couldn't be happening. She saved him. She didn't want him to go back to be Dawn's slave. He would probably have to stay with her till the end of his days. And that wasn't a life at all, nobody deserved this.

"It's settled," Dawn told them confidently.

"Wait!" Beth gave Noah, who was walking towards Dawn, a hug, she didn't want to let him go, but he took her by the shoulders and told her once more that it was okay.

"I knew you'd be back," Dawn said to Noah and gave Beth a triumphant look. And this was just too much. Beth never felt so angry as she did right at the moment. The world around her seemed to tumble and fall. Everything she could see right now, was Dawn and her mocking smile. She had won and she would always win. She used Beth and everything played the way out, she supposed it to. Offering her friendship to Beth and being nice to her, was only because she knew, she had the upper hand. Beth couldn't take this any more, the anger controlled her mind and the sleepless night intensified her emotions and made the anger floating over her head.

"I get it now," Beth told Dawn. She walked towards her and stabbed her with the scissors she had hidden all the time in her cast. Blood splattered out off the wound on Dawn's neck and Dawn tried to stop it with her hand but it had no use, because Beth hit the aorta and Dawn was bleeding out very fast.

Beth watched her going down, the smile had gone from Dawn's face and her face was getting pale. While falling down she still tried to cover the bleeding spot. In the other hand she held her gun and as she hit the floor a bullet left the gun and the sound of the shot filled the hall.

Daryl was outraged as he caught sight of Beth for the first time after they were separated. She was wearing a cast on her arm and there were two stitched wounds on her face. But he was more worried about the look in her eyes. It was plain, nearly emotionless. She seemed to have lost the vivid spirit and innocence, giving him so much hope, back then after the prison fell. After she disappeared, he longed so much to see her again. Damn, what did they have done to her? He felt anger rising in him.

He was ready to shoot everyone who would try to hurt Beth or Carol. Most of all this bitch who wanted to have Noah back. They wanted to have a peaceful exchange, but this wasn't fair. Nevertheless, the boy did what she wanted. Daryl was desperately thinking of something to do or say to make her change her mind, but out of fear to make the situation even worse, he was just standing there, keeping his mouth shot. And then everything went so quickly as Beth stabbed Dawn. Nobody saw it coming.

So much blood. The two dead people were lying between Rick's group and Dawn's Officers and the puddle of blood continued to expand onto the floor. Everyone was shocked and nobody dared to even move, neither Dawn's officers nor the people on Ricks side. They all were starring at the two people who were lying in the ocean of blood on the floor. Dawn and Noah. As Dawn hit the floor, a bullet left her gun and hit Noah right between the eyes. He was dead immediately and was lying there now with his eyes still open. Beth's cry was the only sound that filled the room after the shot.

Now she was sitting on the floor by Noah's side and her jeans were soaked with his blood.

Daryl was starring at her. He never thought that things would go the way they did. He was worried about Beth and Carol and thought a peaceful exchange of the cops for them both would be the best solution. He accepted Noah to accompany them, because the boy insisted on coming with them and Daryl didn't think that Noah would be in danger here. Was it his fault that he was dead now?

Finally one of Dawn's people dared to speak

"You can stay. We're surviving here. It's better than out there."

"No," was Rick's answer. Of course no one of them would like to stay here and Daryl was glad hearing Rick saying that.

"And I'm taking anyone back there who wants to leave. If you want to come with us... just step forward now," Rick continued, but no one stepped out. So they decided to leave.

Beth was still sitting by Noah's side, sobbing.

"I got her", Daryl told Rick. Rick nodded and he and the others turned to leave while Daryl approached Beth and crouched next to her. He tapped her slightly on the shoulder.

"Hey… We gotta leave now," he told her in a soft voice.

She didn't hear him or she didn't want to. Her eyes were still starring at Noah. She stopped crying and just sat there. Daryl decided she have to be in a sort of shock. He moved in front of her. He felt a sting in his heart as he saw her beautiful face lined by two stitched wounds. Daryl told her again a bit louder that they had to leave now. Suddenly she looked up and her the expression in her eyes made him go hot and cold at once. But at least she noticed him. He stood up and made her stand up too by gripping her under her arms and lifting her.

"C'mon, we gotta go." He said. Being afraid that her legs wouldn't carry her, he put an arm around her waist and supported her while they were walking towards the exit. After a few steps Beth stopped and turned around.

"We can't leave him like that!" She told him and her voice broke with tears.

"Ain't nothing we can do for him anymore", Daryl told her and his voice nearly broke as he added a silent "Sorry".

When they walked out of the building she was crying again and he was close to tears too. Outside the others waited for them. And they were not alone. Abraham's group was there too. So they finally came back. Maggie ran to Daryl and Beth and put her arms around Beth, crying tears of joy. Beth was crying too but her look was blank like she didn't completely realize what was happening around her. Daryl was worried about her, but the walkers approaching them worried him more, so he gave a sign to the group telling them to move on.


End file.
